dream...bigger.

ok, so i know it's fuzzy, but it's still kinda wonderful, don't you think?

I know it’s been, well forever, since this blog has been updated and for that I’m sorry to leave you hanging, but, to be honest, what I’ve been doing besides blogging has been way cooler ;).

I just met the halfway point of Pre-Service Training (PST). I’ve had all my midterm exams (passing quite nicely if I do say so myself). It’s been a wild ride. From getting off that plane to this point has felt like both five seconds and five years.

This section of Peace Corps service is very, VERY focused on technical training and language education. As an education volunteer I’ve been in session after session learning about the Malian education system, the people in it, the bureaucracy involved in it, the public policy, the politics, the problems, the hope. Just those sessions alone are an emotional roller coaster of hopelessness and desire to be servant of change.  Other than that, I am in four to eight hours of language class a day. I’m learning Bambara, a major dialect of Mali, though the official language (to which not everyone knows) is French. The education system is conducted in French, so at some point, I may even be able to speak three languages.

That’s been homestay. I live with a Malian family in a village outside the national capital of Bamako. I go to class with other trainees, who are some of the most awesome people perhaps ever. I am totally and completely in love with my host family and the people I get to spend the day with. There is a lot of biking along the rocks that surround my village, lots of games, we started a garden, and we just have a wicked good time busting out in dance parties and fits of giggles. If it weren’t for them, who knows if I would have made it this far.

That brings me to this moment, I’m sitting in a hut at the Peace Corps Training Center preparing to be taken to my site for a visit. Because I’m not going too far (about an hour down the road) I’m the last one to go. Some people left five hours ago and still have hours of travel ahead of them, so I consider myself very lucky. The quietness of the center is a little odd, usually there is a lot going on and people everywhere, so this is a good moment to do a little writing and reflecting. Plus, I can play my Disney music without the judgment of the others!

I’m feeling good at this point in the game. I had a really hard time the first week of homestay. Being in a new place, not being able to speak to anyone, with Americans I didn’t know…I was dirty, hot, hungry, and cranky. But somehow, I just came out of it. I like to think it’s a mix of being busy, embracing the dirt, laughing really hard at absolutely everything, and (again) amazing Malians and trainees. Now it’s like a it’s been this way forever.

It’s funny because I was showing pictures of myself “pre-PC” with some of the others and even I was surprised at how clean and different I looked! One month changes a lot. No make up. Chaocs instead of flats. Short hair. Bucket bath. Wear the same shirt three days before washing? Sure! Wear the same outfit? Duh. Even washing goes from actual cleanliness to “Does this smell ok?” It’s a shift of mindset.  And I have to say, most of time I really enjoy it. Though that still doesn’t mean I don’t go nuts when I can shower for what seems like forever and when I get to shave my legs and wash my hair it’s like a party.

But the point is that all that stuff…it just doesn’t matter. I mean sure, I don’t wanna stink, but the purpose of my life here is beyond the comforts of home and the simple things that I used to take for granted.

Already I’m beginning to see how much can be done by just being here. I have a 21-year-old host sister and we have already talked about the differences in expectations between Malian and American women, whether that be marriage, work, child raising, and education. She’s amazed I’m not married, that I actually graduated from university (I got a round of applause for that one) and then I totally BLEW her mind when I said I wasn’t sure if I would have kids. That led to a very long conversation about societal expectations and cultural differences and even got my 17-year-old host brother involved. I’ve also had conversations with him about travel, and his dreams. He just took the big exam after high school and has dreams of becoming a lawyer and traveling the world. Conversations matter here. Getting to know people is a crucial step to understanding the reasons behind an entire culture. I can’t ignore the differences, but it is my purpose to try to understand.

I have dreamed of coming to Africa with the Peace Corps since I was in high school and found out about this crazy organization that lets people travel throughout the world with the purpose of cultural exchange, I mean I thought it was too good to be true. Seven years later, Peace Corps has changed and I have grown (soon to grow a whole lot more I’m sure) since then, but the dream stayed. And here I am, ready to embark on the craziness. Ready to continue. Ready to stay the course.  And have an amazingly fantastic time along the way.

I guess I’m going to have to get a bigger dream…