clothing and other thoughts

I was sitting at desk the other day and a student shouted out from the couches (a whopping 10 feet from me) “Do you all know what you’re going to do with your lives?” My co-worker and I looked at each other, grinned, and said definitively “NO.” The student then went back to her friend saying something to the effect of “see, no one knows.”

And it’s true. No one knows. Which is not to say that there aren’t people who have plans and follow them, but predicting exactly who you’ll become. C’mon, that changes like the wind.

I’ve been thinking a lot about it all. About who I’m becoming just by the decisions I make and what that means. When I have bigger more intangible thoughts I often wonder if I like the person I’m becoming, but more on that later.

So, I often sit, looking at pinterest or whatnot thinking about who I am becoming. And how I get that to be properly represented. More to the point, I spend a lot of time looking at my wardrobe and thinking unpleasant things about it.

At the beginning of the year I bought a lot of clothing. I just didn’t have much and with a real fall full of color and a culture of plaid and flannel and long picnics under big trees I got sucked into an aesthetic I was trying on and quickly wondered if it was mine at all. Don’t get me wrong, I love to borrow aesthetics, to wear something that is more trendy, or more boyish, or more feminine, or more American, or more cultured, whatever. But, at the end of the day, I want it all to come from the most genuine and natural of places.

As we embark upon spring and summer—two of my least favorite seasons—the thirst for style and comfort in my own skin is becoming more and more necessary. It’s becoming something I crave.

My friends and I here at work are planning a road trip to the mall Monday (yes, we live in such a place that malls are places far enough away to require a road trip) and it has me in a tizzy trying to think about pieces to buy and what I want to go for. It also has me wanting to purge my closet like nothing in this world.

I think I want to create a wardrobe that better represents me right now. I want it to be easy, simple, with classic pieces that when put together have a boyish mentality to them. Something about it all is slouchy and effortless—a little bohemian, a little tailored. With perhaps some very feminine touches (pink nails, floral earrings, polka dot belts). Enough with the trendy or cheeky. I feel like I have too much just because it was on sale and not enough that I love.

New goal: do more you love, own more you love. 

Who's with me?