Saturday, April 27, 2013

lately


we all have the same school colors, so we thought we'd represent.
i have no idea what they are doing.
BSU, Bucknell, UVA
 
sometimes you just need your girls.
and pie.
and you need to eat said pie on the floor hiding from your residents.
hey, it happens
funny faces before getting ready for MORP
no makeup + ponytail
gah, i love being twenty-something!
chaperoning--or something like it
with thapelo--obviously
first day of warmth. 
cheers to the idea that there could be more...springtime anyone?

Friday, April 26, 2013

Thursday, April 25, 2013

you've been morped

so, as you might be guessing, I survived prom. whew! it was quite a night. chaperoning was so much fun (and awkward). it was great to get into it, to dress up and do everyone's hair, and just relish in the beginning of the end of the year.

shelley, me, and mk
aren't we looking prom worthy?
this is totally one of my favorites

look at that face!

hair! 

the fellas of morp. dapper, right?

the ballroom!

our table

dates!

prom photos!

taking a picture of the food pictures

the chaperones!

attractive right? this is us at about 1am. post morp. 

after morp = desk and caffeine (in the form of a very large Diet Coke)

post morp = pitch perfect

and more McD's

and one final selfie!

overall it was totally successful evening. everyone came back happy with achy feet. 
may the end of the year commence!


Sunday, April 21, 2013

follow 'em

so, in true high school fashion, how you ask someone to MORP is just as important as anything else. in order to join in the fun, i asked my dear friend and fellow chaperone to MORP in the classiest way possible. i keyed into her room while she was working another desk and made sure she couldn't walk through her apartment without seeing it. 

sometimes if you can't beat 'em, might as well join 'em. 

T minus 7.5 hours until the festivities start. 


me and mk. presh, right?

Saturday, April 20, 2013

morp

Let me set the stage for you. There I was at my senior prom. My feet were killing me and I’d only be there for twenty minutes. I had decided to go stag and the first slow song came on. Like a true introvert, I quickly left the dance floor and tried to find something to do that would make it look like I had some purpose. I was headed to the chocolate covered strawberries (obvious choice) when someone tapped me on the shoulder. It was a friend of a friend. He was there with his girlfriend who was my year (whereas he was a year older) and we shared a mutual friend. He asked me to dance. I hesitated, he had a date of course, and this was the first slow song. He could sense my hesitation and said that our mutual friend asked him to make sure I had someone to dance with for the first slow song. I couldn’t hide my surprise and we shuffled along for the three minutes of the song.

I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done, made sure I didn’t stand alone if they could help it. I think about that moment when I start to loose faith in humanity—about how kindness comes about just when we don’t expect it.

We are less then 24 hours away from this year’s prom at school. Everyone’s in a tizzy prepping for the big dance. It’s fun to watch it all and be a part of it. I’m excited to chaperone (it will probably solidify my status of old and outdated) and embarrass my girls.

I’m more excited to hear what this night means to them, to hear what happens, the drama, the beginnings, the endings.

You never know the memories that stick with a person.

Prom 2013.
Seven years since that dance.
I wonder what will happen now...

pictures to come! i'm even going to wear the same dress i wore for my prom! 


image from Pretty in Pink

Thursday, April 18, 2013

going

Once upon a time I gave up Facebook

I have this preconceived notion that people care about my life. And that’s not to say that my friends and family don’t care, but I care too much about what the random person walking down the street thinks. And believe it or not, random person actually doesn’t care much about me. Even old Facebook friends, have their own life stories to be all wrapped up in, I’m sure they don’t take much notice to mine. And so be it! That’s supposed to be ok! I need to stop feeling like everything I do is being judged against this whole valedictorian/most likely to succeed/ quiet, smart girl persona. How outdated to constantly be battling against the potential of your 18 year old self. I just assume people are waiting for me to screw up or become Hilary Clinton. Seriously, in my little brain, that’s what I think.

So I decided to chuck it all out. No Facebook for forty days. One of the reasons I did that was because I was beginning to think that my actions were being shaped more to please that other person. This person who I went to high school with, who I felt the need to impress, to brag, to be better than everyone else because they knew me at a moment in life when everything seems possible and the fact that you don’t know how it’s all going to end is part of the fun and excitement. I needed a step back. I needed to know that it didn’t matter what those people thought. I needed to find out what I wanted.

During those days and weeks, I wanted to really find out what I wanted and where perhaps it all may end up.

And I get it. That’s a lot of pressure to put on a time period, blah, blah, blah. But I also went into it all knowing that my contract for my current position was coming up and I needed to make some choices.

You see, I’ve written a lot about wanting to be an artist, about having to at some moment in time chose between art and politics, about evading that choice as if it mattered.

I had coffee one day with someone who is much smarter than I am and she said, “You never have to choose. You can define yourself however you want to…” she continued by adding, “…I will always be an artist...” and it was that comment that struck me.

I will always be an artist.

No one is going to walk up to me and take away my desire to design, my knowledge of art history, my creativity, my aesthetic. It will always be a part of me. I will always be a creative.

Always. As I exist and evolve so will my art.

Ok, well then…

Funny thing about running away from what you believe people’s impressions of you are—sometimes you find out that they were right all along.

I realized that everyone was expecting so much of me because it was actually what I wanted. I really do want to go off and struggle and live abroad and study hard and long and have student loans and save the world. I want to be in the thick of it all battling out conversations about international aid and the state of corruption in African educational policies. I really do. Sounds great. Sounds liberating.

After much persuasion from a friend of mine I applied to graduate school. After a lot of thought and this internal conversation of my own, I’ve decided to go.

First I had to tell people I applied. Even my Mom didn’t know (which in case you are unaware, is a rarity in my life). And then, I sat on it for a few days pondering the course my life could take if I went, what could happen and who I could become. The irony in all of this is that I had sworn off graduate school, sworn off abiding my people’s expectations and judgments only to find amongst all the noise of the outside world my own inner voice. This inner voice is strong-willed and opinionated and giving and knows what to go after. There is no more floundering.

In August I will pack up again and move. I will take a plane and land a first year post-graduate at the University of Edinburgh pursuing a Master’s of Science in Africa and International Development.

Sometimes the next step is a leap of faith.
And I’m going with it regardless of what you think.




Sunday, April 14, 2013

oh yeah...

Of course, you never really forget anyone, but you certainly release them. You stop allowing their history to have any meaning for you today. You let them change their haircut, let them move, let them fall in love again. And when you see this person you have let go, you realize that there is no reason to be sad. The person you knew exists somewhere, but you are separated by too much time to reach them again.
chelsea fagan | how we let people go 
(Source: larmoyante)
via TKoW

kinda hooked


ok, so this has totally hit the radio and people are dancing to it everywhere. it might be cliched, but i love it too! this song just played on my spotify and i did a little chair dance at the desk. i think at this moment, i'll take any excuse you'll give me to shout at the top of my lungs "I DON'T CARE!" 

we can analyze that later. :)

enjoy!

Friday, April 12, 2013

clothing and other thoughts


I was sitting at desk the other day and a student shouted out from the couches (a whopping 10 feet from me) “Do you all know what you’re going to do with your lives?” My co-worker and I looked at each other, grinned, and said definitively “NO.” The student then went back to her friend saying something to the effect of “see, no one knows.”

And it’s true. No one knows. Which is not to say that there aren’t people who have plans and follow them, but predicting exactly who you’ll become. C’mon, that changes like the wind.

I’ve been thinking a lot about it all. About who I’m becoming just by the decisions I make and what that means. When I have bigger more intangible thoughts I often wonder if I like the person I’m becoming, but more on that later.

So, I often sit, looking at pinterest or whatnot thinking about who I am becoming. And how I get that to be properly represented. More to the point, I spend a lot of time looking at my wardrobe and thinking unpleasant things about it.

At the beginning of the year I bought a lot of clothing. I just didn’t have much and with a real fall full of color and a culture of plaid and flannel and long picnics under big trees I got sucked into an aesthetic I was trying on and quickly wondered if it was mine at all. Don’t get me wrong, I love to borrow aesthetics, to wear something that is more trendy, or more boyish, or more feminine, or more American, or more cultured, whatever. But, at the end of the day, I want it all to come from the most genuine and natural of places.

As we embark upon spring and summer—two of my least favorite seasons—the thirst for style and comfort in my own skin is becoming more and more necessary. It’s becoming something I crave.

My friends and I here at work are planning a road trip to the mall Monday (yes, we live in such a place that malls are places far enough away to require a road trip) and it has me in a tizzy trying to think about pieces to buy and what I want to go for. It also has me wanting to purge my closet like nothing in this world.

I think I want to create a wardrobe that better represents me right now. I want it to be easy, simple, with classic pieces that when put together have a boyish mentality to them. Something about it all is slouchy and effortless—a little bohemian, a little tailored. With perhaps some very feminine touches (pink nails, floral earrings, polka dot belts). Enough with the trendy or cheeky. I feel like I have too much just because it was on sale and not enough that I love.

New goal: do more you love, own more you love. 

Who's with me?

Thursday, April 4, 2013

spring break take 2

as promised, here is part 2 of my spring break adventures. being at home in bloomington always feels one part familiar and one part strange since i've actually never really lived there. my parents moved there right before i took this job in michigan and the time i've spent there equates to breaks and holidays. don't ask me for directions to the mall!

part 2--days spent laughing, watching tv with laura, and convincing myself that going two weeks without running is totally acceptable.
made it home in time for my grandfather's 80th Birthday 
dinner was fantastic! 
all the adults
now me too!
what's a birthday without cake?
in the middle of the week my sister and i went galavanting downtown to go to a wine tasting. it was super fun. and we felt pretty posh too!
i can't help it, i love black and white
wine and cheese. what's better?
all done!
then after what was such a fast visit, i jetsetted my way back to interlochen and got to hang out with these cool people...
maggie ducked out of this shot!
what a fabulous duo 
before (chefs maggie and mary-kate)
after :)

not to shabby right?